The Chattering of Humans

This entry was posted by on Thursday, 22 September, 2011 at

There are a lot of Sussmans out there, and every month I get emails addressed to ‘sussman@gmail.com’ but clearly meant for a different one. I always politely reply with “you’ve got the wrong email address”.

That said, when I search Gmail for such replies, it makes it easy for me to see every wrongly-addressed mail I’ve ever received. The email contents — coupled with the complete lack of context — provide a surreal look on the chatter that goes on between humans. In the spirit of textual surrealism, I picked out individual statements from these emails and composed them into a poem.



I've been thinking about you. How are you? Everything ok?

A partial lifetime has passed since we last said hello. Why does it
feel like only a few hours ago that I was struck by your beauty and
warmth?

My heart is so of joy full I can hardly stop crying, singing and
dancing...

I have come to several dances in Cambridge. It's a wonderful
experience and I am grateful.

But it is tiring to carry so many who will not produce themselves and
then struggle in my own life too.

My intent and prayer in this spiritual autobiography has been to
convey something of the magic, richness, and blessing of the journey.

I LEFT YOU SEVERAL PHONE CALLS AND DID NOT HEAR FROM YOU

Your fabulous face and style....and your quite unique and adorable
personality.

I am very proud of you. Your career choice and you are perfect
together.

May I please have the honor of adding your personally signed, dated,
and inscribed picture to add to my collection?

How to get paid to hike, ski, climb since it only meets two nights,
and what type of wages were you expecting?

Would you like to sit at the front desk for two hours on December 5
from 10-12 noon?

Can you please help with the flooding at the Blue Room?

I would have to wait a few days before picking up the racket again,
for I just twisted my wrist today.

I am very disappointed that I will not get to take the course with you
and Vicky.

DO NOT let anyone operate on you anymore because more spinal fusions
will most likely not give enough relief to risk the possible
complications of more procedures.

I will look for the tray and the ergonomics person--hopefully things
will get better.

Please find the proposed delegation from us.

I would like to cut down on costs and make the trip a 3 nights/4 day trip.

They must be directly tied to the FEMA contract and or company performing the work.

During school hours calls cannot go to classrooms. Messages will be
taken and given to teachers.

The executive chef is flexible in accommodating different dietary
needs and requests.

When should Susana begin to prepare on her own and begin one of the
programs you offer?

She wanted to speak with someone above Jason because she feels you are
doing something fraudulent.

We will however have recording equipment there and will record the
event.